– By Juniper June Shay
Astrology can be used to analyze just about any aspect of human life, sexuality and self-expression included. The signs can be grouped into dualities categorized as masculine (Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius) or feminine (Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, Pisces).
Currently, the idea of gender is undergoing a revolution. Very few individuals have only female-typical or only male-typical characteristics, most are a unique mosaic of both (also reflected in one’s natal chart). Venus is the planet of femininity, creativity, beauty, love, and pleasure. Its placement in your chart can answer questions like: What and who do we love? How do we express ourselves, artistically and socially? What do we enjoy? How do we relate to wealth? How do we connect to others in relationships? Who do we attract? How do we seduce others? What pleases us?
My Venus is in Capricorn. I am known to be dependable and loyal but can suffer from being too serious and reserved resulting in the repression of my romantic feelings. I often let fear stop me from taking huge risks in matters of the heart because of my anxieties related to loneliness and rejection. My past lovers have regarded me as rigid, but this stems from my need to feel in control of my life so I can achieve my goals as well as my desire for consistent and sincere affection. Venus in Capricorn natives are considered to have an excellent sense of timing concerning creative expression, making them brilliant musicians (unfortunately I am not, but I am a melophile) and dancers (I like to think so).
This past summer I came out at gender fluid (under the non-binary umbrella) on social media and announced my decision to use gender-neutral pronouns (they/them/their + ze “zhee”/zir “zhere”/zirs “zheres”). What has been causing the most friction during this evolution in my life is the fear of communication. Acquaintances in my outer circle or distant relatives were too nervous to ask me questions about my identity, despite the fact I emphasized my openness to the topic. Trying to understand versus gossiping about/trivializing my experience are very different things. Time and time again I must remind my peers of the concept of relativity. My degree of struggle will most definitely be different compared to a transgender woman of color who may explore or identify with the non-binary umbrella. I will never be able to truly understand their experience, but I can empathize and educate myself. What makes social media powerful is that it enables those with access to speak to the community at large (for free). What has been most rewarding about my journey so far was having individuals reach out and thanking me for being so open online. It had created an opportunity for conversation and exploration about gender within themselves and with their peers.
I want to go over some common misconceptions about what it means to be a part of the non-binary umbrella. The most important concept I learned during my time studying biology was essentially your genetics and environment will shape who you are. And to make it even more complicated, everything is on a spectrum… essentially many combinations are possible. That is what is so amazing about the human experience, the vast number of manifestations are unfathomable. Making assumptions, simplifying, or stereotyping aspects of the human experience is extremely dangerous. It’s time for a world that includes gender-neutral pronouns and disassociates gender expression (behavior, mannerisms, interests, appearance) from gender identity (the personal sense of one’s gender). Growing up I was fascinated with femininity because my body developed into a curvy figure, I was often drawn to form-fitting clothing. I presented myself in this way because it made me feel powerful. I received a lot of attention I didn’t know what to do with. In that same breath, I got off on the reactions of my peers to my lush leg and armpit hair, it empowered me differently. The clothes I wear or the ways I groom my body hair shouldn’t be measurements of my (or anyone’s) gender identity.
Mars, a masculine planet represented by the God of War, embodies physical energy, style of aggression, and sexuality. The placement reveals one’s passions, how we behave when we are aroused or angry, if we are courageous or timid, what captures us at first sight, and how we instinctively try to please others.
My Mars placement is also in earthy Capricorn. It allows me to employ incredible self-control with regard to pleasure, achieving my goals and fulfilling my potential is what gets me going. Exceptional timing is a hallmark of Mars in Capricorn, making them gifted comedians. These natives are also known for their robust sexual drives, that they retain into their old age (often soothing their need for self-control later in life). They are attracted to partners who are respectable, successful, and mature. Only properly united can then can they reveal their ability to be wonderfully potent, long-lasting (endurance baby), rhythmic lovers.
I am romantically and sexually attracted to all different manifestations of gender identity and expression regardless of the individual’s biological sex. I believe that gender is a societal construct — a limiting dichotomous category of identity. I use the label pansexual, gender-blind sexual attraction to all people, which is distinguished from omnisexual, attraction to all genders. I don’t like the term “gender-blind” because it is misleading, I respect and acknowledge other individual's gender identity but I also believe our current understanding of and attitude towards gender is extremely limiting and potentially harmful in the development of one’s self.
There isn’t much one can do to change things that stimulate or pleasures us (the demands of Venus), but there is certainly adaptability in the methods and ways we pleasure others depending on the flexibility of one’s Mars-Venus combination. In compatibility readings, the relation between one partner’s Mars and the other’s Venus (and vice versa) is often studied because it reveals what you offer compared to what your partner wants to experience (as well as what your partner gives compared to what would satisfy you the most). If one’s Mars position is less versatile, it is quite normal to find bedroom behavior adjustments difficult.
Other important placements to study include certain aspects of your Sun and Moon positions. Similar to the Mars-Venus dynamic, the Sun of one partner and the Moon of the other are compared (and vice versa). The compatibility of one’s inherent nature (Sun) versus the needs (Moon) of your partner reveals how fulfilled you both will be in the relationship.
Your moon sign reveals your desires and impulses, this indirectly impacts your love-life because they relate to your contentment. I was born with the Moon in Aries. I lust for action, which often comes with feelings of impatience and anxiety even during pleasurable experiences. I am described as honest, assertive, independent and childlike. Some sources of happiness for this Moon include freedom, conquest, leading, and passionate expression.
The Sun, the most basic component of one’s natal chart, provides some insight into your sexual patterns and preferences. If you have read my other piece, you know I am a Scorpio Sun. I am fascinated by the emotional dimension of lovemaking and all things erotic. Most people focus on the physical act, but this is far from the only way to elicit passion and connection. The enlightened Scorpio understands that the full spectrum of the human experience cannot be described in simple terms such as: pain and pleasure or good and bad, there is an emotional flow that rises and falls.
Cover photo courtesy of Juniper Shay