Anyone else remember those hormone-riddled adolescent years when you’d Google [my sign] + [crush’s sign] to desperately determine your compatibility? For me, it was as commonplace as doodling my name next to my crush’s last name in my notebook, or sticking our photos into an online baby photo generator to see what our future kids might look like. (Don’t judge—my Venus is in romantic, imaginative Pisces!)
While most of us have likely grown out of that admittedly silly behavior, few of us have evolved beyond Sun sign-centric thinking. Tween me was desperate to know how my crush and I fared in the zodiac, but I usually found canned answers with little depth or value when I only compared our Sun signs.
As I got older, started dating more, and concurrently learned more about astrology, I tossed those reductive Googling habits. If we know that the natal chart contains a wealth of information about a person’s emotions, desires, and proclivities, why would we only look at one slice of the pie when evaluating a “maybe match”?
Enter the Dooz Dating System™: a simple hack that uses three clues in someone’s chart to give an in-depth look at your romantic potential—provided you can get your current flame’s birth time. Try this contemporary three-step system for assessing astrological compatibility, and leave your preteen Googling habits in the (star)dust:
- Look to their Moon sign.
In your natal chart, your Moon sign represents your emotional nature. Many tend to think of it as a representation of who you are and how you think when you’re totally alone—that is, who you secretly are deep inside your own head. Personally, I love to look at the Moon sign as a reflection of what you need to feel emotionally secure in the world. When we view this in terms of relationships, the Moon sign helps us locate and nurture our potential partner’s inner child.
Does your crush have a Leo Moon? Then they probably need tons of attention, regular affirmations, and creative fulfillment to feel emotionally secure. Read: routinely compliment their appearance and support their artistic pursuits. Do they have a Moon in Scorpio? Then you’d better let them express their intensity and passion without judgment; this is not the type who will respond to the “make ‘em jealous” attraction tactic, so avoid inciting jealousy or dimming their fervor unless you want a recipe for instant insecurity. What about someone with a Cancer Moon? These individuals must feel safe to freely express and embrace their nurturing, maternal side—something particularly important for [hetero, cis] men who have likely been taught to reject these traditionally ‘feminine’ qualities. (Helloooo, toxic masculinity.) Regardless of your partner’s gender, let your Cancer Moon cutie cry with you, care for you, and get cozy with you, sans scrutiny. Didn’t see your crush’s Moon sign in this? Read about how each of the Moon signs behave here.
- Check out their Venus sign.
In the simplest sense, Venus is the planet of love, pleasure, and beauty, so it’s natural that we’d want to scope it out when talking about relationships. (This planet also rules finances and moneymaking, but I’ll save that for another post.) Depending on where Venus lands in a natal chart, we can determine how someone behaves in love, how they express love, and what brings them pleasure when it comes to love. For this reason, discovering your potential partner’s Venus sign can be incredibly illuminating. It’s one of the best ways to determine if you’re a good match.
Take someone who has a Venus in Aries. The fiery excitement of the chase is perhaps more fulfilling to them than the safety and stability of a solid, long-term partnership—something a Venus in Taurus might prefer—so take that into account when considering cozying up to your new crush. If you’re looking for a sensitive, supportive, and sappy romantic, that Venus is Pisces will probably make a great match. But if you want someone flirty, confident, and aggressive in their pursuit, your Venus in Virgo flame likely won’t deliver. (They’re much better at showing their love through small acts of reserved kindness.) For more info on what your babe’s Venus sign means, read this.
- Pay attention to their Mars sign.
Mars is ruled by Aries and is thought of as the action-oriented, aggressive planet. So, what does this mean in your natal chart? For the purposes of this post, we’ll pay attention to how Mars rules your raw, unfiltered sexual desires, and how it clues us in to what you’re attracted to on a primal level. Mars is particularly helpful when evaluating a mate because what they might be attracted to, or what they desire sexually, has the ability to magnetize you or keep you starkly apart.
Let’s look at Mars in Aquarius as a prime example: this individual is likely open to or interested in all things alternative or against the grain. This type of person tends to be kink-positive and might readily embrace the idea of free love or polyamory. In terms of attraction, a partner who’s a little offbeat, unique, and hyperintelligent (shall we say, nerdy?) is definitely Mars in Aquarius’ type. Alternatively, if you have your sights set on a Mars in Capricorn, know that they are someone who likes things a bit more traditional in bed. This doesn’t mean that they have a vanilla sexual appetite, but it does suggest that they’ll probably be pretty private about their sex life and prefer a loyal, long-term partner that they can build a successful life with. Feeling safe and stable with their honey is of the utmost importance to feel sexually confident, and Mars in Capricorns are attracted to someone ambitious, experienced, and powerful. Read about Mars in every sign (including your crush’s) here.
While astrology can be both incredibly fun and incredibly helpful, remember that it’s meant to be used as a guide, not a black-and-white mandate. And while it’s useful to look at your love interest’s natal chart, remember to prioritize what’s important to you in a partner, instead of bending to meet someone else’s perceived desires or interests. Happy dating!
(Cover image: Robert Indiana, The Garden of Love, 1982)